The Bone Marrow Biopsy

Considering the amount of biopsies I've had done and that I still have to have done, (every 3 months for the next 3 years.) I haven't really mentioned them before now.. my first experience of a bone marrow biopsy was pretty soon after I was admitted... I cried the whole way through it, pretty hysterically, whilst holding tightly onto the nurse's hand by the bed and covering the white pillow case with my black mascara tears.

I listened to the doctor explaining to me how the biopsy procedure would go, how it would be performed, that they were hoping to get a specific diagnosis out of it, the possible risks.. essentially everything I needed to know. I signed the consent form after everything had been explained, but if I'm honest, I was such a mess that I hadn't really taken on board any of the information I'd just been told. I understood, but I didn't want to. I never really wanted to know how bad my cancer was, or that it was indeed cancer. I just wanted to curl up and for everything to be done and dusted. Just like that. Life back to normal... but it doesn't work like that.
To date, I've probably had around 9 or 10 biopsies... I had one when I was admitted, one after my first cycle of treatment, one after my second cycle of treatment, one after my third cycle of treatment and one after my fourth cycle of treatment and I've had several more biopsies since then. Initially I was having my biopsies under a local anaesthetic, which is the standard procedure... you have a couple of shots in the skin/tissue of your back and then a couple more deeper down.. the needle goes in, (around those nobbly bobbly bits you can feel on your lower back) right into the bone and then your marrow gets sucked out, with a bit of pushing and pulling. With the pushing and pulling and having the needle in your back in general, I experienced a lot of discomfort. The pain shot from my back, straight down my leg and it was a very weird, uncomfortable and persistent sensation, with sharp shots of pain popping up every now and then to add to the pain that was already there. It's really hard for me to accurately describe the pain I experience... but I wouldn't wish it on anybody. Sometimes it wasn't as bad, but other times it was just unbearable and I'd kick out without intending to and have to have my legs held down until the needle was out. The more times I had the biopsy, the more I anticipated the pain and the tenser I got beforehand which didn't help at all. The first couple of times, I felt so rough that I don't think I was fully aware of the pain. It does also depend on who's doing the procedure, as some doctors put more anaesthetic in than others... there is also the option of having gas and air, but that didn't really work for me. For the majority of my biopsies I was crying so much that I was a big mess of tears, snot and dribble, I couldn't really grasp the whole 'breathe in breathe out' technique, as well as squeezing my Mum's hand and trying not to concentrate on the pain... I wasn't very good at multitasking. It might be because of my lack of multitasking, or because my pain tolerance got progressively worse with each biopsy, that the last two I've actually had done under a general anaesthetic. I'm slightly torn by this, as it does mean I spend the majority of my morning in hospital, (arrive at 7am, then I get home by about 12/1ish) although I am fast asleep and pain free with no clue what's going on during the procedure.. however a part of me thinks it might be easier to grit my teeth and just cry my heart out for 20/30 minutes, then I can run off home straight afterwards.

Obviously, everyone's pain threshold is different.. you might be reading this about to go for your bone marrow biospy, go in, have it done and then come out thinking that I must be one of those people who cry when they tread on a lego brick. I've sat on the day unit waiting to go in and have seen people three times my age go in and out of the room for their biopsy like it was nothing. It totally depends on the person and mine have definitely gotten worse the more I've had done, but that is probably down to me working myself up over it days before I know it's going to happen. For the type of cancer I had (Acute Promyelocytic Leukaemia) now that I'm in remission, having a bone marrow biopsy done every three months is the easiest and most effective way of monitoring the cancer if it comes back, which is why I have the biopsy and bloods done and not just blood tests.

It may not be as bad as you think it will be, my first handful of biopsies, pain wise, were bearable.. they just got worse with time. As with all procedures, if you're worried about scarring, it isn't too noticeable... like a faded dot to dot along your lower back!

Hair Growth Update - March

Since I took the last bits of my hair off at the end of September, I have been religiously using Lee Stafford's Hair Growth products - Shampoo, Conditioner and Treatment Pot (which you can read about *here*) and I have to say I think that my hair is doing well! I am beginning to accept the fact that it won't grow back to waist length overnight, however, it is doing the best it can with the help of Lee's products.

As you can see from the photos, it is growing back thicker and with a bit of a curl. Pre-cancer my hair was a light shade of brown (also known as mousey brown) and completely straight, if I wanted the slightest bit of volume in it I had to back comb it like crazy and hairspray the life out of it.. now it's not only started growing back darker, it is also thicker and slightly curly/ wavy. It's completely out of control! Ha! If I want to tame it I have to wash it every night to keep it more or less flattened down. In my 'March' photos I'd washed my hair a couple of days before and as you can see, I've got a nice little quiff going on and it's also gone curlier at the back. The longer you don't wash it for, the crazier it gets!
My Dad was the first one to say, "You never know, you might have a massive afro!" Which my younger sister found extremely funny and then spent a couple of minutes drawing a picture of me with a mass of curly hair on my head... brilliant!

I'm not entirely sure as my hair gets longer if it will continue to be as wavy as it is now, or if the weight of the hair as it grows will eventually straighten it out a bit... I'll have to wait and see!

For anyone who has lost their hair, whether it has been due to chemo or not, I would definitely recommend that when it starts to grow back you get some of these products in stock, as not only do they smell nice, they work wonders for your hair in helping it to grow back. Obviously, like I said in my previous hair post, I don't know how quickly hair should grow from scratch, but I personally think that these products are definitely making a difference to my hair growth and I would 100% recommend them to anybody trying to grow their hair longer. You can either buy it online at Boots or in store.

AUSSIE 3 Minute Miracle - Deep Treatment

'There's more to life than hair, but it's a good place to start!'

Last week I posted about the hair products I am using at the moment whilst my hair is growing back, which you can read about *here!* So I thought why not do a post about the products I used on my hair whilst I was in hospital. These products were from the brand AUSSIE who also have a lovely little philosophy, 'There's more to life than hair, but it's a good place to start!' Which is very true!

When I was first diagnosed, I was told that there was a very slim chance of my hair falling out completely, they reckoned that all it would do was get a lot thinner, (which for someone who had a thick amount of hair) I felt as comfortable as you could be with the thought of your hair thinning at 20 years old! I wasn't overly worried about it. However, I have a knack of making a mess/ being a bit ditsy with most things that I do! Haha! Washing my hair with a picc line in my arm turned out to be one of those things. No matter how much cling film I had wrapped round my arm, washing my hair in the shower I always managed to get some water under the cling film with my line. SO. In came Super Mummy! Haha! My Mum and Dad came in to hospital to visit me every day when I was in there, so every couple of days my Mum would wash my hair for me... which turned out to be a lot trickier than you'd think! She'd don a plastic apron, roll up her trousers, roll up her sleeves, kick off her shoes and arm herself with AUSSIE Colour Mate Shampoo and AUSSIE 3 Minute Miracle Deep Treatment. Then i'd stand with my head bent under the shower head whilst she washed my hair for me, (often switching the temperature of the water from hot to cold and laughing at my reaction.) It started off with the shampoo, AUSSIE say, "This juicy formula, oozing of the fruity stuff, comes to the rescue of coloured tresses making sure hues stay bright and hair comes alive." ...and you know what? They're right! My hair had been dyed blonde months before I went into hospital, so my roots had started to grow out, my hair was damaged from being bleached and, I have to admit, didn't look in very good condition. Because this AUSSIE shampoo is aimed at coloured hair, even after the first use my hair was much softer and looked just that little bit shinier, the shampoo itself also lathered up really nicely and it smelt wonderfully fruity too! Then, came the real 'star of the show' the AUSSIE 3 Minute Miracle - Deep Treatment, again, this 3 minute miracle bottle was aimed at coloured hair and was by far my favourite out of the two! Simply massage it into your hair/ scalp applying it like it were an ordinary shampoo/ conditioner, then leave it on for 3 minutes, rinse it off and TA-DAA! Lovely, silky smooth hair and the colour also looked that bit brighter and less straw like, (lets face it, nobody likes looking like a scarecrow.)

My Mum went through several bottles of both the shampoo and deep treatment on my hair before it decided to fall out... unfortunate, but hey, it happened. It was however in a much better condition after using just these products (notice no conditioner) and I even plaited a bit of my hair and kept it... still nice and soft even when it's not attached to your head! Ha!
So there you have it! I would thoroughly recommend these products to everyone, whether you're going through treatment, or if you're just looking for a nice little health kick for your hair! They definitely nourish and care for your hair, plus they smell nice and fruity and the 3 Minute Miracle - Deep Treatment is a bottle full of heaven for your hair!

You can purcahse AUSSIE hair products from Boots *here* and if you want to check out more details on these products or other products in the AUSSIE brand, you can have a wander over to their website which you can find *here!*

Lee Stafford - Hair Growth Treatment

'If the earth's not nourished you'll never grow BEAutiful flowers.'

This is the quirky little quote that greets you on Lee Stafford's 'Hair Growth Treatment' products and I love it! It's true though, if your hair isn't nourished with the right products and diet it's not going to grow to it's full potential length.

My hair started falling out after my third dose of chemo and I eventually decided to take it all off at the end of September. Since then it has been growing back and THE ONLY product I have used on it has been Lee's Hair Growth shampoo, conditioner and treatment (which you use in between the shampoo and conditioner.) It's like using any shampoo or conditioner, except for the treatment in between. Lather up your shampoo, rinse it off and then, using an egg sized scoop of product from the treatment pot, massage from roots to ends, leave on for 5 minutes and then rinse off! Lastly whack in your conditioner and rinse out and TADAA! Not only do you smell like berries and loveliness, (I have to say once you smell these products, no other product can beat them!) You WILL also notice a difference in your hair! My hair feels really soft and silky (despite there not being that much) and I have noticed a difference!
Now don't get me wrong, this is the first time i've ever been bald before, so I have no experience up until now, or no idea how fast hair should grow, but after using this product for about 3 months (as my hair didn't grow back straight away) I think it's grown really well and it is ALL down to these products! Once you use them, you'll never want to go back and I would 100% recommend giving them a try! I for one shall continue to use these products until my hair has returned to it's pre-cancer length!

Below left: Taken on the 25th September 2013 when I took my remaining hair off.
Below right: Taken on the 13th January 2014!

               

You can purchase Lee's Hair Growth shampoo, conditioner and treatment at Boots stores and you can have a wander over to Lee's site where you can browse through his other hair product collections too! http://www.leestafford.com/en/

I hope you find them as effective and as wonderful as I have! THE BEST products I have ever used!

THE ONLY WIG SHOP YOU'LL WANT TO GO TO!

So you may be thinking, WHY HAS THIS CRAZY GIRL WRITTEN HER POST TITLE IN CAPITALS?! This is because, there is no other way I can get across to you, how ABSOLUTELY AMAZING this wig shop is and how INCREDIBLY LOVELY Phoebe was, who sorted me out! Look at it like this, if your head was a strawberry.. this place is your cream!

Trendco. Trendco Hair Supplies is a chain of salons located in London, Hove, Birmingham, Manchester and Nottingham and are one of the UK's largest suppliers of wigs and hairpieces (human hair and synthetic.) I went to the salon in Hove as it was the one closest to me and was seen by one of the stylists there called Phoebe. Phoebe is an absolute gem and a complete credit to the salon! Walking into the salon, there are loads of wigs on display heads, ranging from bobs, to shoulder length, straight to curly, some have bangs and some don't and all of these wigs come in an array of colours and tones.

Phoebe sat me down on a chair in front of a mirror (like you'd find at a hairdressers) and asked me what kind of style I was looking for and if I had a certain colour in mind. To be honest I was completely overwhelmed by the display of wigs on show and all the different cuts and styles... there were just so many! I'd gone in with the intention of getting a wig with loose curls in a brown or blonde and I definitely knew I wanted it to have a fringe as I felt that being a wig, with a fringe you wouldn't be able to see any cut off point from head to hair. I tried on the 'Avery' wig it was curly and had bangs on it, but I quickly realised it wasn't the right one for me, for some reason it just didn't look right, (probably because my hair is naturally dead straight... not to mention the fact I was bald and hadn't seen that much hair on my head in a while!) Phoebe suggested trying something straight and brought back 'Misha.' I'd also decided that I wanted a slightly lighter colour than the last one, so Phoebe had chosen a lighter brown colour with blonde highlights running through it. She placed it onto my head for me, like she had done 'Avery.' I had a wig cap over my head first (to make the wig more comfortable to wear) and then Phoebe asked me to hold the front of the wig against my forehead, whilst she pulled the rest of the wig over my head so it sat comfortably. Phoebe had assessed my skin tone perfectly after I realised the last colour was too dark and the mixture of the blondes and browns in 'Misha' were a really complimentary colour on my skin tone. The fringe that was on 'Misha' was a tad bit too long for me, but Phoebe cut it so that it sat how I wanted it and was more of a straight fringe. I then walked out of the shop a very happy bunny with a lovely head of hair!

Overall I can't rave enough about Trendco and about Phoebe! I'd gone in about a week before to book my appointment (you need to book an appointment with a stylist, unfortunately you can't just walk in.) I went into the salon really scared to take my hat off as I was now bald, however when I did take it off Phoebe didn't bat an eyelid, she talked me through styles, colours, wig care and how to get it to sit on my head properly. When she spoke it was as though she'd actually been through hair loss (whether she has or not I don't know, as I didn't ask) but she made me feel completely comfortable and very happy by the end with my new hair! She knew exactly what she was talking about and I would definitely go back again! 'Misha' the wig itself looks so real and unless you came up really close and had a good look at my 'roots' (sounds a bit of a funny thing to do) you wouldn't know that it was a wig! My Dad summed it up nicely by saying, "It's weird, because you wouldn't know it was a wig, but obviously I know it's a wig because I saw it go on your head, but really, you wouldn't know!" Haha!

A MASSIVE thank you to Phoebe as I couldn't have asked for better! If you do go to the Hove store I would thoroughly recommend her! The focus is all on the customer and making them feel 'normal' again and that is something you won't find with every wig supplier. Trendco is THE place to go for getting a high quality, natural looking wig.

My wig colour is Mochaccino and the style is Misha. (Synthetic wig.)

*It is also really simple to wash your wig. You soak it in lukewarm water with a splash of shampoo, rinse then soak in clean lukewarm water with a splash of the conditioner and then just rinse it out and hang it on your head or wig stand to dry! You can brush through it with a wide toothed comb once it is dry, don't brush it whilst it is wet as that can pull on the hair. It's as simple as that!*

http://www.trendco.co.uk/

 

Goodbye Hair ♥

After two courses of Idarubicin (chemo,) my hair hadn't yet fallen out... yes, it had thinned, but there was still a substantial amount attached to my head and anybody who hadn't met me before would have thought that that was my normal amount of hair. My third course of chemo changed all of that. It was a drug called Mitoxantrone, a funky Sonic the Hedgehog blue in colour and I was given that, like my previous courses, intravenously.
A week or so after I'd' had my last dose of Mitoxantrone and my levels were pretty much in a 'safe' zone my Dad came to collect me to take me home. I heard him come into the room whilst I was in the bathroom, I'd locked myself away and had been standing looking into the mirror, slowly running the brush through my hair for about 10 minutes. I'd found a bald patch at the back of my head and my hair that should have been there was now scattered on the floor and firmly lodged in my hairbrush, I unlocked the door with tears rolling down my face and Dad came over to give me a hug. He collected up my hair from the floor and then put it in a bag to take home... "You can show it to your Mother when we get back... we can always stick it back on your head with a bit of glue!" Haha, one thing about my Dad is that after a sympathetic hug, it is normally always followed by a joke or a sarcastic comment to lighten the mood and admittedly, it did make me laugh!

I have always loved my hair, it was part of me (obviously, being attached to my head) and changing the colour and style of it now and then is what (I thought) made me, well, me! 

Up until now, my hair has had a very colourful life! My natural colour is a mousey brown, but as you can see it has been brown, dark brown, black and blonde and it's had highlights, bits of blue, bits of pink and bits of red here and there. So when it started falling out I was devastated. It got to the stage where the majority of it had come out, I was left with a massive monk style bald patch on my head and I was crying every time I washed or brushed my hair.

On the 25th September I decided enough was enough and took the rest of it off. (That and the fact my Mum had said I now reminded her of 'that man from Little Britain' aka Matt Lucas... thank you Mother! Haha!) So off it all came. There is no way you can prevent your hair from falling out due to chemo. If it's going to come out, it's going to come out and I was nowhere near ready to deal with it. I cried a lot. Every time I brushed my hair, I cried. Every time I washed my hair, I cried. Every time I looked in the mirror and saw myself, I cried. In my eyes and in my mind I was falling apart, the worst bit was, I could see that I was falling apart, but there was absolutely nothing that I could do about it.

My hair has grown a fair amount since September, my sister has now nicknamed me 'Hedgehog' because it's so soft and sticks up where I've been sleeping on it. She said when it gets even longer I will have reached a 'Porcupine' stage of hair growth! My brother on the other hand, returned home from work and greeted me with a "Haha! How's Dennis the Menace doing?" I'd like to think that I don't resemble a spikey haired, trouble making cartoon character, but he seems intent on making his nickname for me stick... I do however have THE nicest wig for the days when I just can't bare looking at it, which I shall give you all the details for in my next post! There is no easy way to deal with losing your hair when having Chemo, but stay strong and keep smiling! It WILL grow back. xx

My Top 10 Hospital Essentials for Cancer Patients

 When you're diagnosed with cancer, it normally means that you have long stays in hospital. When I was first admitted I stayed in hospital for 3 weeks, managed to get home for a couple of days and then I got an infection so I had to be carted straight back into hospital for another long stay. SO, I have come up with a list of the Top 10 essentials I found really useful during my hospital stays (and when I was home) which I will go through with you one by one!

1. Carmex.

The original little jar was definitely a big must for me. The problem I found once I was put on a cocktail of drugs and then having chemo on top of that, was it really took its toll on my body, especially my skin. My lips became very dry, which meant whenever I went to talk or yawn, (which was quite often... even though I spent most of my time asleep haha!) My lips would crack making them even worse. BUT my lovely mother came in after a trip to Superdrug armed with a little pot of Carmex for me and ta daaa! It did not disappoint! If I put this product on at night, when I woke up at breakfast time, my lips still felt just as moisturised as when I'd put the product on before bed. This, I have no doubt, is all down to the camphor and menthol formula Carmex use and the addition of petrolatum, which creates a long lasting barrier. After just a couple of days of use, my lips felt and looked so much better!

2. Sally Hansen - Miracle cure.

My nails have always broken easily, but when I started my treatment they became a lot dryer, developed ridges and started peeling. Sally Hansen's Miracle Cure treatment was sent to me by a friend of my Mum's who had recently been through cancer. She sent me some other really thoughtful and useful gifts, but this was one of my favourites! On Sally's website she has high promises for her product, including 'instantly strengthened and reinforced nails' as well as stopping peeling. The application is simple, shake the bottle, then apply a thin coat to your nails every other day. Since I started using this product back in June, my nails are in much better condition. Although they still have a few ridges in them, (which my little sister likes to point at occasionally accompanied by an "Eeew! That's so gross!") They have stopped peeling completely and are much stronger! This product definitely lives up to it's promises.

3. Palmer's Cocoa Butter - Intensive Relief Hand Cream.

This products is like putting on a pair of velvet gloves! My hands became very dry and sometimes if I'd had a cannula in my hand, the sticky plaster that held it in place would often cause my skin to peel off once it was removed. Palmer's definitely worked it's intensive softening and soothing magic as after a week my hands were back to normal and I have continued to use this moisturiser every day because I love it so much!

4. Dove - Purely Pampering Nourishing Lotion.

Like my hands, the rest of my skin also suffered and became very dry and began to peel. Dove products always feel so beautiful and soft on my skin and their purely pampering nourishing lotion was no exception! With the added ingredient of shea butter to 'deeply nourish and soften your skin' my own skin was almost back to normal within a couple of weeks. I would 100% recommend this product.

5. Veet - In Shower Hair Removal Cream (Sensitive Skin.)

Part of the package of being diagnosed with Leukaemia is that your blood doesn't clot like it should, so for me I had to be very aware of the fact when I was let home, I had to be careful around our cats to avoid being scratched. Shaving posed another problem. On my medication I became very shakey at times, which made shaving my legs without taking a chunk of skin off a problem. This is where Veet comes in. You can get the tubey version or you can get a pump dispenser version, (the latter is much easier to use) and then you just slap it on, wait for 5 minutes, then using either the sponge or spatula provided wash it off in the shower. It's as simple as that! It doesn't have that gone off smell like other hair removal brands and it leaves your skin soft, smooth and moisturised! Definitely a must have if you don't fancy risking it with a razor. 

6. Batiste - Dry Shampoo. 

One thing I found difficult was washing my hair, the first two lots of chemo I had only caused my hair to thin, so it still remained the length it was... just thinner! However I did have a line in my arm and if I'm being honest I'm not very good at multitasking. Washing my hair would involve holding the shower head, applying the shampoo, rinsing it out whilst holding the shower head and then repeating these steps with the conditioner, all whilst trying not to get my arm wet with my line in. I just couldn't do it. Luckily that was where my Chief Hair Washer came in AKA my Mum! She would come in and don a plastic apron, roll up her trousers and stand bare footed washing my hair for me. All I had to do was stand there with my head bent under the shower head, while she had a great time laughing at me whenever she changed the water from hot to cold! This is where dry shampoo comes in. It promises to make your hair look and smell fresh if you don't have enough time to wash it... and it actually worked. All you have to do is spray a bit into your hair, roughly massage it in and then you're good to go... (which in my case was back to bed.) But it kept my hair feeling fresher and non greasy in between hair washes which is exactly what I was looking for.

7. Sensodyne - Pronamel.

Half way through my treatment I found that my teeth had become very sensitive, so sensitive in fact that drinking water at room temperature still gave me a bit of a shock, as did eating a hot meal. This time Dad came to the rescue and bought me a tube of Sensodyne toothpaste. After a couple of weeks the sensitiveness of my teeth had improved greatly and drinking water was no longer giving me a shock when it came into contact with my teeth. This is the only brand of sensitive toothpaste I have used and found to have worked.

8. Snack box!
Even though my snack box says 'My VERY Healthy Snacks' I have to admit that it was pretty much always filled with chocolate! Hehe. Having said that I did on occasion have it filled with muesli bars or cereal bars, which I would definitely recommend, as it gave me something to snack on during the day or in the middle of the night if I had a sudden urge of hunger!

9. Bra Top/ Crop Top.
This little bra top, I can honestly say was one of THE best things I packed in my hospital bag and is a great little alternative to a bra when you find yourself in hospital and lying in bed most of the day and night. These ones were from Marks and Spencer and came in a pack of two. They're soft and comfortable to wear and there are no wires in them like you find in a bra, so it meant no faffing around and taking it off when I went for x-rays which was a massive bonus! A definite must have!

10. Photo.
The picture of my photo is of me when I was little with my Mum and my Dad. I kept it by my bed when I was in hospital on my table. It was reassuring for me to have it there, especially at night when I'd feel a bit rubbish and down about everything going on. It's nice to look at a photo of your parents/ family/ friends, to know that they're there in spirit at that moment, if not actually in the room with you. They love you and they'll be there for you through the ups and the downs, so don't give up, it's just a little positive reminder. 

And of course, don't forget to pack a pair of cosy pyjamas! 😊